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Re-writing

Posted by Carlo Jose San Juan, MD on Thursday, April 8, 2010 Under: Callous


The April 8, 2010 Callous comic strip, "New Kicks", was actually penciled several days prior to the actual publishing.  The strip was delayed because I didn't feel the original story was appropriate for the series.  Sure it may have been funnier but it ended up with Rianne having a really sad look on her face which was heartbreaking to look at!

I never really paid as much attention before to maintaining an overall theme to the series until this strip.  Drawing Callous is a joy and I wanted that delight to reach the reader from the cartoon.  If I felt down for a character by the last panel of a comic I know something's not right. "Ward Rounds 1" is an exception because it was the first part of a two strip story-arc where the downturn in the last panel becomes resolved.

The original script brought back Dr. ____, the bald-headed doctor who no one knew, who was eavesdropping and overheard Rianne's concern for being preoccupied by maintaining her new shoes' cleanliness.  He was originally penciled behind Rianne.  He then poured his drink on her shoe.  Rianne was left depressed with Dr. ____ saying that she shouldn't tempt fate.

It took a while but after a lot of thinking and several re-writes I came up with an alternative ending which made it to the final product.  Here, Rianne became the master of her own fate (of sorts) which is partly more akin to what Callous is all about.

In : Callous 


Tags: writing  script  rewrite 
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About the Author


Carlo Jose Caz is a practicing licensed physician, professional voice actor/talent, writer, and cartoonist. He has been working on the Callous comic strip since 1996, winning several of The LaSallian's Silver Quill awards for his work. He has written several published short stories. He currently lives in the Philippines with his wife and two children.

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